To Pee or Not To Pee
The Five Best and Five Worst Bathrooms on Campus
Story by Brian Giandelone and Jenni Payne, Photos by Sierra Molina
Not all bathrooms are created equal. While LSU's campus has some nice, clean facilities for its more than 32,000 students and faculty, there are just as many rank, nasty places that make the average person cringe.
Two brave Legacy staffers decided to save the rest of you some trouble. They're dishing out the Golden Plunger and giving you all the dirt on the five best and five worst places to go when you gotta go on campus.
I hafta go, but not that bad. Bottom Five:
5. Tiger Stadium
For LSU students, Tiger Stadium brings out passion and often creates the most cherished memories of a student's college years. However, a trip to any bathroom in the student section of the famed stadium might be one memory students want to forget. It's not the facilities that mar Tiger Stadium's image as much as it is the cleanliness. Cram 92,000 Tigers in one place, add alcohol to blur their vision (and therefore their aiming abilities), and no one can expect this place to sparkle. Students should beware of slippery floors, clogged toilets, and a carpet of toilet paper just waiting to get stuck to the soles of innocent bystanders' shoes.
4. Allen Hall
One of the 13 buildings that comprise the Quad, Allen Hall is among the oldest buildings on LSU's campus. While the inside houses beautiful fresco murals painted in the 1930s, the bathrooms down the hall are not exactly works of art. Horrid smells, dim lights, and empty paper towel holders put the Allen bathrooms in this category. One positive note is the graffiti in the stalls. Only in this building would students write such great poetry as "I leave this stall broken hearted/ I came to poop but only farted/ Now its time that I departed/ But I'll be back to finish what I started." Ah, those clever English majors who struggle with grammar.
3. CEBA
As the main building for the business and engineering colleges, students would expect CEBA to have nicer bathroom facilities, but such is not the case. Space is limited in these restrooms. In the men's room seven urinals line the wall, separated from one another by only six inches and no divider, creating a somewhat uncomfortable situation at times. Although the stalls are free of graffiti, one of them on the first floor bathroom also lacks a door, rendering it practically unusable. With the soap dispensers and paper towel holders empty much of the time, it does not take an engineer to find the faults in a CEBA restroom. The women's restrooms fail to be any better. The poor design of the small space makes navigation almost impossible.
2. Lockett Hall
Located deep in the Lockett basement sit some of the grossest bathrooms on LSU's campus. The men's bathroom houses only one urinal and one stall, which makes it impossible for more than two people to be in there at the same time. The women's room houses three stalls and no standing room for the line, which usually piles up faster than 5 o'clock traffic on College Drive. This presents a problem for the hundreds of students in desperate need of relief before and after their classes in the basement. Add the incident last year when a drainage pipe burst behind a urinal in the men's room on the first floor, leaking water into the basement ceiling and engulfing the restroom and classrooms with a horrendous odor (one similar to 50 people eating asparagus and having a pee party on the floor), and Lockett takes the runner-up position.
1. Middleton Library
Even with the array of nasty bathrooms on campus, none compare to the rankness that characterizes the Middleton Library facilities. No matter which floor students choose, they are greeted with similar sights and smells in each bathroom. Although some would think that college students, especially those who visit the library, would have the intelligence to know to flush a toilet when finished, they would be wrong. If the rancid smell (the smell of the library-minus the books), empty soap dispensers, lack of toilet paper and broken hand dryers do not keep students away, then peeping Toms might do the trick. In the fall 2004 semester, a man was arrested for looking through holes in the stalls of the third and fourth floor bathrooms to watch other men as they did their deeds. The holes are still there but have since been covered. If the administration really wants to draw students into the library, maybe they should think about improving the bathrooms, and then watch grades soar.
Wow, this place sparkles. Top Five:
5. The Union
Although it may not always be the most pristine bathroom on campus, considering the huge number of students who use the facilities each day, the bathrooms in the Union deserve some recognition. Guests of the University frequent the restroom located on the second floor of the Union, keeping the staff on its toes to make sure everything is nice. The cleaning ladies who always seem to be in perpetually good moods ensure that the stalls are clean, the paper towels are plentiful, and the trash cans constantly emptied. Plus, the hand-sensor sink with warm water is a really nice touch. Small sketches can be seen on the walls of the stalls, but they are usually removed in proper time.
4. Tureaud Hall
The only general purpose classroom building on the Top 5 list, Tureaud Hall's bathrooms are some of the nicest on LSU's campus. On both the first and second floors, these restrooms are huge, accessible from both halls in the building. More than ten urinals and six stalls means that students never have to wait for an empty spot to go. The women's room is packed with stalls and great big mirrors to cater to those pre- and post- class touch ups. Like the Union, Tureaud has hand-sensor sinks and two hand soap dispensers a small reach away from any sink. With so many students having classes in the building, Tureaud's bathrooms give them some reprieve from the disgusting conditions they normally meet in their classroom buildings.
3. Cox Communications Academic Center for Student-Athletes
As the newest building on campus, the Cox Communication Academic Center for Student-Athletes is expected to have nice bathroom facilities, but it goes above and beyond these expectations. In the first floor bathroom, marble tops the sink and vanity area. Soap dispensers are built in to the marble top, creating the feel of luxury. The stall has about as much room in it as most bathrooms in students' own apartments. The only drawback is the lack of toilets. However, because it is tucked away from plain sight, there is little waiting when one needs to go.
2. Hebert Law Center
While it is common knowledge that LSU has one of the most prestigious Law Schools in the nation, most people probably do not know how nice the bathrooms are in the Law Center. The Hebert Law Center's bathroom stalls are the most spacious at LSU. While the clean white tiles sparkle on the floor and walls, the restroom's prized feature is God's gift to public bathrooms - the automatic flush sensor. This advance in technology solves the worst problem of public restrooms, an unflushed toilet, while preventing the spread of germs. Gooseneck faucets and large mirrors also help to give the Hebert Law Center another draw for students interested in practicing law. After a trip to this restroom, any student will have the confidence to argue a case in front of a grand jury.
1. Journalism Building
In 1934 the Journalism Building was moved brick by brick from its original location near the state capital to its current spot across from Lockett. It is the oldest building on campus, but recently received a $3 million renovation in 1998. The building features a beautiful new interior that extends to its bathrooms. These facilities are some of the most spacious ones on campus. Students do not need to cram into small areas to conduct their business. With its wealth of space, the Journalism Building can afford to have as many sinks as it does toilets. Plus, hand soap dispensers and paper towel holders are just a small arm's reach away from the sinks. The bathroom is clean, well lit, and as welcoming as a restroom can be. The luxury of these facilities makes it worth the effort for students in the Lockett basement to dart across Fieldhouse Drive and use these restrooms. For all these reasons, the Journalism Building earns the title of best bathroom on campus. So congratulations, Journalism Building, for being the number one spot for students to go number one.